@MR-cx1mg
I just discovered relationship anarchy and I'm realizing there's a term for what I've wanted and felt was most natural and healthy my entire life. I really appreciate your channel and am excited to see more.
@Vickyeverythingelsewastaken
Very interesting video! Of course, deconstructing the idea of a male partner to a woman as "head of the house" is feminism 101 at this point, but we can go a lot deeper. Emotional dependence is still dependence even though both partners are financially and socially equal. It worries me how much queer relationship think that they are free of these concepts and that trying to keep your independence is "selfish". Especially as a woman dating women, I deal with a lot of clingy people who, and it pains me to say, try to make me act like "the man". The independent one who picks where to eat and doesn't cling but gets clinged to. It's so sad that we can't escape these dynamics. Thank you for making me feel less alone in that and thank you, Adrewism, for the recommendation!
@mundivore2397
I'm not sure how much I've been listening to your thoughts so much as just nodding along and saying "hey, that's exactly what I think!" but between this and your hierarchy video, I really feel heard. Or perhaps more accurately, I feel known and I feel spoken to and spoken of. As a person who 'benefits' greatly from all manner of existing hierarchies and yet still chafes against the limitations they've set upon me, still hopes to see them broken, I often find it difficult to articulate my position to those who share my beliefs (or beliefs similar to them) without being dismissed. The way you've spoken here helps me tremendously. It's difficult to feel credible talking about the deconstruction of the concept of 'monogamy' as the vague structural concept, to talk about being opposed to things like heteronormativity or cisnormativity when I appear to be practicing these things. To be overly descriptive: I'm a masculine person not bothered by he/his pronouns in a relationship with a feminine person who prefers she/her pronouns, and in that relationship we are by all means and essence romantically and sexually exclusive with each other. It's easy to wonder whether or not I'm merely contributing to the problem, and stressful to even consider speaking when I'm worried my input won't be valued. Yet your words have given me a one-eighty on my concerns, because they describe exactly my experiences, struggles, hopes, and dreams! The goal that no person should have to participate in any relationship in any way that they do not want to—how beautifully said! The bedrock of the relationship I've had with my partner has always been 'how can we improve consent/autonomy in this relationship?' Our decisions to present the way that we do, to share each other's time and space and lives with each other in the way we do, requires no other justification than the fact it is the way that we do so most authentically. I suppose it's the perennial problem of anarchy; that by definitionally rejecting all hierarchies, it is often so much easier to phrase our objectives in terms of opposition or destruction of these hierarchies, which can obscure from view the reality that our goal is instead create something better. It's the thing that sells me about anarchy as opposed to any other sort of leftism. There's nothing to wait for, no conditions. You can do anarchy now, you can do anarchy later, you can do anarchy upon any piece of dirt on the world, you can do anarchy in space; it'd ruin the point if you had to ask anyone for permission to do anarchy. Community book boxes and gardens, sharing your couch with someone who's cold, bicycling to work, or loving someone in any way whatsoever; anything you choose to do for the good of others without the expectation of reward is a small act of anarchy, a small rejection of hierarchy. No matter what happens with government or cities or elections or armies or politics, if the sun rose and we all chose to be an anarchist for one day, we'd see the sun set on a better world. So now that I'm done poeticizing and preaching to the choir, just wanted to end on another thanks. I'll be watching the rest of your content later, and if you share any more videos I'll be excited to watch them.
@piplupz1586
A person's needs may meet a wall which will either cause them or someone else to enact a hierarchy in order to solve. However, the more people there are who care about them and themselves within a community, the better we can avoid that
@jonathanschweiss316
"Therefore, the subject is not whether we accomplish Anarchism today, tomorrow, or within ten centuries, but that we walk towards Anarchism today, tomorrow, and always." -- Errico Malatesta, "Towards Anarchy"
@wandererstraining
Hell yeah, new anarchist channel! Solid content so far. I'll be looking forward to watching more of your videos. Awesome hair, btw!
@Kibitserr
3:55 yes!!! exactly!! this is something that i've started to notice in RA communities, and i've been trying to figure out why i was becoming so annoyed with it. i think a lot of RA communities have become very blurry as its grown to include far more people with varying backgrounds, which is great but i also think it has left to a lot of linguistic drifting. there are a lot of people who currently use RA to simply mean "i negotiate relationships to be what i want them to be" without any thought to the hierarchies they are perpetuating with their negotiations
@charlesthebald3671
Cool. 30 something, something years ago I wrote an article for an anarchist magazine talking about how people didn't tend to apply their political beliefs to their relationships. More just pointing out that there was a facet of our lives where we tended not to apply our beliefs, and maybe thinking about that rather than offering thoughts on how to actually go about doing that, so I'm interested to hear your thoughts.
@rainbowstarks
this is the best explanation i've heard about this concept, especially linking it to anarchy in the way that you have, I feel like it makes a lot more sense to me now. It's so fascinating to explore. thank you so much!
@Noms_Chompsky
Fun tidbit I learned from one of my collective sisters, in ancient Greece they had these city mayor types they called Archons. Sometimes during an archon's term, they'd die; but instead of immediately electing a new one they'd elect a new one when election season came around again. The time between the archon pushing up daisies and when the next election came around was know as anarchy; because an (without) archon and things seemed to run just fine during anarchy that there was really no need to hurry up and elect a new one.
@chainsawxangel
watching this channel and hearing the ideas has made me realise that i was already living with a strong bias towards recreating the means of anarchy, because it always was just what felt the healthiest to me, but i had never put it into the context of the ends.
@oj3730
Always great to see more good explanations and spaces for the discussion of both Anarchism and Relationship Anarchy. Loved your sense of humor and chosen approach to RA. Looking forward to the growth of the channel! I instantly subbed because of "that's a thing that I don't have a lot of control over". The classiest "screw this" ever, in a good way.
@zzzleeepy
ur channel changed my life i show ur videos to all my friends exploring alternative relationship styles
@evarismus
Perhaps you could make a video about political participation as anarchists. I.e Party participation, direct action options, organazing, interest-organization or non-profits. What is the best way for an individual anarchist to attempt to influence the world, materially and/or politically? You’re amazing! Looking forward to see this Channel explode. Greetings from Norway!
@MainelyMandy
Oh damn, I really like your point about security and freedom being seen as existing as if more of one makes less of the other. I wish this video had been out when I was making my own video on the subject because I definitely would have referenced you. Thanks so much for making this! I gotta watch the rest!
@mienchennn
Thank you so much for sharing this! It’s so important for relational anarchy to get more well known
@teeade
I'm not an anarchist, but I want this for myself and for many of us. I wish I had the energy for such a relationship, though. This system, of course, makes non-monogamy harder than the standard Eurochristian relationship structure, but people have made relationship anarchy, and other non-nuclear family settings, work for them within the confines of a capitalist system, which I find very radical and cool. ✨️
@tropical.lluvioso
Can't get enough of the chaotic good energy. Keep 'em coming <3
@BraeWilliams
I love this video so much! I’ve gone 30 years with the wrong definition of anarchy. I had no idea!
@forstudentpower